Perfect for you, that is…

One recent Sunday night, I went for it. Wrote up my profile, picked out about a half-dozen great shots of myself, filled out the questionnaire and shelled out far too much money for the paywall version of the dating site. I sat back and blew a great breeze from my lungs, disturbing the curtains that sit in front of my desk.

There, I said to myself, it’s done.

Monday morning I open my laptop and there’s a handful of guys eager to make my acquaintance. One of them lives several states away (rejected it) two other guys obviously never read my profile (rejected them too), and the other two expressed some interest by sending me a message. I responded to them, and, predictably, never heard from them again (was it something I did/didn’t say?).

Undaunted, I flipped through the man catalog to see what my options were. Not that I’m fussy, but this dating site is supposed to line up those individuals who align to your preferences. Not many of them did. While it’s flattering that a really hot-looking 35 year old guy wants to meet me, I’m really not in the mood to date someone not much older than my son.

And what is it with some guys, who refuse to tell you if they’re married or not? Or they have a profile that says something like, “I think there’s a lot of crazies on these dating apps. Hope you’re not one of them. You’re gonna luv me. Say hello!”

Skip. Skip. Skip. I pass them all by.

There’s a really nice man I’d love to meet, but he doesn’t answer my message. Actually, there were about a dozen really nice men I’d love to meet, but apparently they don’t share the same desire. It’s all a gamble, really, and I have nothing to lose. I take it all with a grain of salt, as I man shop.

Just before I sit down to work for the day, I saw in my inbox I had a few more “likes” to my profile. At the same time, my iWatch dings. Someone’s texting me.

It’s Glamour Man. He’s breadcrumbing me again.

I read his text and it seems to be a heartfelt message. I hadn’t heard from him in weeks – no surprise there – and for whatever reason, he chose to send me a message. I laugh. Here I try to make contact with all these guys on the dating app and get nowhere. Now a guy I can’t get anywhere with is the only one I hear from, and he’s not even on the dating app.

Recently, it was my birthday, and a friend and I spent it together having some outdoor fun. Glamour Man remembered my birthday and sent me a cheerful text wishing me all the best. I answered with a silly picture of myself, and he responded in kind. He asked me to call him when I got home so he could talk to me. I never did. Part of me wondered what good it would do, part of didn’t want to, and the remaining part of me wished I could celebrate with him in person on a really romantic date.

Why can’t I shake this guy loose from my heart? I haven’t seen him in four months. He’s called twice. Texted a handful of times. I should’ve tossed him by the roadside ages ago. Yet, he still has a place in my thoughts, along with a dim hope that somehow he’ll come around. Otherwise, why does he keep saying hello? Am I just one of many he likes to keep? Or is it only me?

My work laptop’s gearing up for another exciting day of figuring things out and coming up with solutions. I take the time to answer him, nicely, though I should really tell him to leave me alone or ask him why he bothers. I throw out there maybe our paths will cross someday, and he answers they surely will.

Yeah, right.

And then after work, I return to the dating app. Surely there’s someone out there for me…