I had been feeling ill at ease lately, and somewhat anxious. Couldn’t really pin it down. But maybe sometimes it’s because the universe is trying to tell you something, and it’s falling on deaf ears.

A good friend of mine is a Reiki practitioner. She offered to do a session for me to help find out what the cause of it was. Since I’d never experienced this sort of thing before, I figured maybe I should. I do yoga and try to meditate (although I’m a bit faulty at practicing it regularly). It’s all about opening up and letting your whole body, mind and soul flow.

She put on ambient music, dimmed the lights and lit incense. I laid down on her portable table and began to relax, the soft tunes and the scent of sage slowing releasing my tension. My eyes closed. Crystals rested on my chakras, each one having a particular purpose. And then, I drifted…

Curiously, the first thing I saw was a navy blue T-shirt with “Robot Boss” in white block letters across the front, and a logo between the words. Not sure what that meant, but maybe I’ll create a shirt that looks like it – was kind of cool! An image of a man came into view. He had a beard and looked rather young. No idea who that could be. My mind went blank again. As the incantations continued over me, a vision of Glamour Man appeared. And kept appearing. First, his face, then his profile, then us standing together, his arms around me. It warmed my heart. Maybe this is a sign we’re going to be together at last?

Or maybe it was an omen.

This afternoon, GM sends me a text. How about a catch-up call, he says. Sure, why not? I answer. We set a time and I go about my day. At the assigned time, he calls. I’m telling him a funny story about a silly thing that happened to me this week when abruptly, he stammers into the phone, “I gotta go.”

Except the call didn’t end. The line was live. And I heard everything.

A woman’s voice called to him and he answered in his charming, cheery voice, talking about making rhythm beads. Ironically, they’re used in Reiki. Perhaps that’s where the connection came through – his making the beads and my energy picking up on that. And why they were made and by whom. Of course, I’m speculating here. I don’t really know anything about Reiki. Anyway, I heard nothing for a few minutes, then some shuffling, then the phone disconnected.

He realized I heard everything. So he backtracked.

The text exchange went like this:

ME: Someone came over? You calling back?

GM: Not tonight and yes.

ME: Well, have fun with your company.

GM: Don’t think so…raincheck.

ME: I don’t know why you called when you were going to be busy. I heard.

GM: Didn’t think so…sorry.

ME: Well, she didn’t think you were. So enjoy. And don’t bother calling back.

I refrained from putting “Ever again.” Somehow, my fingers wouldn’t allow it. I don’t know why. But if someone comes in the door without knocking, then they’ve got skin in the game, so to speak. A girlfriend.

At that moment, everything made sense. All the times he promised to get together and the plans fell through. Promises to call and he doesn’t. Arriving at our club and leaving without saying goodbye. Never attending events in the evening, especially ones that I’ve planned. I knew this was fishy, but why didn’t I pick up on this like I should’ve?

I got really angry and stared at my phone for quite some time. I can’t imagine GM thinks that I’d be upset because he’s probably too wrapped up in himself. But I should’ve known better. I’m not beating myself up, though, because why should I? I’m worth a lot more than this guy realizes.

The human part of us wants to be loved and appreciated. Some humans want to be loved by many people all at once, however that comes. Me? I’m looking for just that one person who’ll stick by my side for whatever time I have left on this planet.

I also know that if someone really, truly wants you, they’ll move heaven and earth to be with you. My ex did that, as he moved from another country and left behind a great job, his family, and everything he knew to be familiar to him. He started from scratch, but he loved me and for him, at the time, it was worth it. Circumstances got in the way, and we drifted apart. Life threw its worst at us and he just couldn’t deal.

We gain wisdom from all the bad that happens to us. I’m choosing to look at this as a lesson. Quit wishing and hoping. Start a relationship on your own terms. Come to an understanding. Let nothing pull you apart. And for God’s sake, be honest with yourself and the person with whom your eyes catch.