So last week I wrote about a date I had that went swimmingly. Got on like a house on fire. Animated conversation made richer by the wealth of things we had in common. We talked about getting together again in a town that was the midpoint between us. After all, there were a couple of good restaurants there. I even texted him after the date to thank him again for brunch and said what a pleasure it was to finally meet him.

And then, nothing. Complete. Radio. Silence.

Although I’m sure it already exists, I’m almost tempted to start my own “Rate My Date” blog. I’d list the date’s app handle, what went down on the date, and take bets on how likely they were to contact me another time. So far, out of all the dates I’ve had, only one got back in touch with me. Trouble was, he had a very busy job and we just never could swing a second date. That, and he was a recent widower. Lovely man, but still very much in love with his wife that passed. In my heart, I knew he wasn’t ready. And that’s fine. I let it go.

But…there are others. So. Many. Others. Just for the heck of it, here’s a rundown of some of the activity I’ve had:

1. House-Builder Man: After a period of texting via the app, he called. We had a nearly-three-hour conversation. Said he’d love to get together. I said sure. He said let’s meet for coffee, and soon! I said where? He said he’d let me know. Outcome: radio silence.
2. Bass-Playing Blogger: Started texting on the app, then texted on our phones. Chatted for ages, it seems. Why don’t we call? Okay, said BPB. Outcome: radio silence
3. Science Man: Had frank texting session lasting over a month on the app. I said I wasn’t sure if he was for me, he said he didn’t know if I was for him either. So why don’t we meet up and figure it out? Sure, I said. Took one month for date to occur, mainly because he had a multitude of family issues. I said maybe this isn’t meant. He said what are you doing Saturday? We met up, had a five-hour date. Was an awful lot of fun. Really had a great time. He said as much. Let’s do this again! Outcome: radio silence.
4. Beachcomber Lawyer: This guy was hilarious! Started laughing the minute he texted me. Said he loved the beach. I grew up at the shore, I replied. This started a whole conversation about why we should all spend time there. One caveat: he liked to spend all his free time at the beach where, shall we say, where clothing is optional. That’s fine. To each his own. What came after that wasn’t. Outcome: I radio silenced.
5. Pseudo Rocker: Tried to pass himself off as Mr. Really Cool Rocker. Sung in a band, played guitar. Met up at a rather bare-bones luncheonette with so-so food. Turned out I knew more about music than he did. I also personally knew people in the indie/underground music business. Asked for another date. I said sure. Outcome: He texted me to say he changed his mind.
6. Candy Man: This guy “liked” me and he seemed pretty cool. His profile showed a funny picture of him eating a giant piece of candy. That made me laugh. So I responded with a quirky text back. Made him laugh. Actually, we made each other laugh over and over again. So he called. Had a great conversation. This guy, too, played in a band. Said he wanted to meet up with me for dinner. That sounds great, I said. Outcome: radio silence.

I have yet to have a second date with anyone. Af first, I thought it was me. But then, I talked to some of my friends, both male and female, that use dating apps. It’s the same for all of them. Which leads me to ask: what is everyone looking for? What magic are these people expecting? What do they really want?

All but one of the above guys I would’ve gone on a first or second date. Third, even. Each said they were interested. Instead, I got the vanishing act. At least Pseudo Rocker had the courage to tell me he changed his mind. I respect that. It’s fair. You may ask, “Were you a know-it-all and bruise this guy’s ego?” I didn’t think so. For a person who claimed to know everything there was about music, I thought we’d be speaking the same language. But also, he should not have claimed to be someone he wasn’t.

After a year’s worth of dating apps, am I ready to call it quits? Would you believe I’m not? Here’s why. I have several friends who have actually met the love of their lives on apps. And married, too. One went through 41 dates. Just as he was ready to call it quits, number 42 turned out to be his wife. If either had given up, imagine the happiness they would’ve missed out on.

I’m totally open to meet people any way that I can – through friends, socializing or yes, even a dating app. Thing is, you have to have an open mind and thick skin. And persistence. Dating sucks. It always has, app or no app. Rejection makes people all nutty about trying again and again. The way I see it, I have nothing to lose…except being single.

Maybe, just maybe, one day it’ll all be worth it.